i am not much. there is nothing about me that stands out, nothing that would catch the eye of a crowd…but God chose me. He chose a girl with faults, blemished, much much less than almost perfect. i am wondering why He has even planned the details of my life out in perfect order…why? me, who deserves a brutal death because of the sin that was etched into my life the moment i was born, why Father? Why do you care? Why does it make You happy when i speak to You, or listen for Your sweet directions, or sit down and read Your life giving words? When i raise my imperfect voice in a song of honor to You, why do You listen? You have tens of thousands of angels, with perfect harmonious voices, singing to You day and night, elders are encircled around Your throne, bowing in worship at who You are…but You still incline Your ear to hear all that i have to say. Jesus, what could explain this feeling toward me? love. When i think of the absolute of Your love, and how it chases after me, longing to hold me, and show me in truth Who You are…i am overcome. who could explain Your undying, ceaseless, unending, eternal love? who could fathom the depths of it all? You are big! Your love reaches me. and You are more than enough. and You long for me (us) to know You in sincere and unhindered truth. please show us what You have already stamped into our lives…show us You…
LOVE - it is more than our incompetent heads could wrap around. Jesus, show us how to love, in every way, the way that You did.
ok, the past two weeks have been buried in the saying goodbye to kenya, and the welcome into america, my home. i love this country. i love kenya. the transition is harder than i had first assumed it would be. its like culture shock all over again. there are no people walking all over the place, no garbage in the streets, orderly traffic, tons of stores to be found! its insane what a giant selection walmart has, wow! oh, but i am home, with my family. i know its cliche, but you never know how much you love something til its gone. when i got off the plane in charlotte, seeing my little brother for the first time was shocking! i do honestly believe that he has grown over a foot! after hugging my much missed parents, waiting for luggage to come around, then loading it in the car, we started our journey to franklin, nc. ah, i had forgotten the spellbinding beauty of these smokey mountains…as we drove, we talked. i was amazed all over again at how sensible and wise my father was. he offered much needed words of wisdom and direction into my life. and my mom, always patient and caring, still teaching me to trust and be obedient to the Lord. thank you God for my parents who serve you. we arrived at our house late-ish in the evening. i was exhausted from the seemingly never ending trek to america. but i was here, i had made it home. my two older brothers and sister came over. i love them! how i missed their ability to make me laugh at their ridiculous words. they brought me up to date on all the things that i had missed. into the night i began realizing that jet lag had grabbed me with vengeance. but i was home! and its another start to a new journey. a journey that is to be bestowed into my life with the promise of diligently walking in the details of all that the Lord has planned for me. details. a dear friend once told me “you cannot eat a whole turkey in one single bite.” ponder that…
recently we went to visit the stunning country of tanzania! the drive took quite a while, but the beautiful landscape along the way made up for the long hours in the car…anyway, this post is not about tanzania, it is in fact about the entry back into nairobi. we had been traveling since 5am that morning, the seemingly never ending road that led us back home had wearied us all. it was 6pm by the time we reached the outskirts of nairobi. the sun was fast sinking, painting the african sky with a brilliant palette of oranges and reds. as our light giver disappeared below the horizon, the aurora of city lights touched the atmosphere above, lighting it soft gray. the traffic was almost at a standstill. cars were packed everywhere. taking advantage of the lack of movement in the streets, hawkers came to the windows of cars and buses, tapping on the glass, their hand full of merchandise, pleading and desperate. these people had a large variety of stuff, from sunglasses, to ethiopian flags, to peanuts and maps. adults and children went from car to car, looking inside, begging for a few kenyan shillings. they relied on this “occupation” to feed and clothe them. their were kids that couldn’t have been over the age of six…oh how my heart broke for these people! their physical features told of the hardships they had endured. they were spending their entire lives like this. begging, in the middle of the road. what did they have to show for it? looking through the window at them, meeting their gaze, their eyes pleading and seemingly void of all life…what path had God planned for them? did they not know that they were indeed created for so much more!? they were worth so much more than this! the potential and gifts that the Lord has instilled inside of them is going to waste. they are traveling on a desolate road. who will tell them? who will show them the great love of the Father? who will help them understand that they are the apple of God’s eye? who will disciple them, and love them, and teach them the ways of the Lord?
isaiah 52
7 How beautiful upon the mountains
are the feet of him who brings good news,
who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness,
who publishes salvation,
who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”
8The voice of your watchmen—they lift up their voice;
together they sing for joy…
as they are worth so much more, so are we worth so much more. God does not make His people mediocre. who are we to lead less than triumphant lives?
2 corinthians 2:14
“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere…”
africa’s kids. one of the wonders of the world. they seem to capture people, far and near. standing three feet away, or caught by a camera, the image of these children strike the heart. though most are born into poverty, their outlook on life is still that of any child around the world. they play, laugh, sing, and clap their hands, yearning for any sort of entertainment. it is a pleasure to see them in action. diving into play mode, the atmosphere around them is painted with the color of happiness. their shrieks of laughter resound louder than a thousand choruses, the smiles they exhort speak volumes. i have been spending time at a school in the slums. kids are everywhere. as a student rings the recess bell, hundreds of footsteps can be heard stampeding across the schoolyard. their voices are ones of pure joy, they let all worries and troubles flow off of them in this place. and indeed its a place of much security for these kids. the outside world for them is dangerous and unknown. with questions of where the next food will come from, are they going to be safe in the night, where will they get their next small income…? torn shoes, holes in their trousers, tattered shirts, dirty hands and feet. all these things to carry, to be placed upon the precious shoulders of these tiny kids. its not fair. yet somehow, they manage to still be joyful. their worldly possessions are little to nothing. still they smile. still they show incredible, unhindered love. yes, there are times when i can see a wave of sadness wash over their faces, but in truth, for all that they have been through they show enormous strength and courage. its as if a joy really lives in them. and the only joy that i know of is that of Christ Jesus, our Lord, our Savior. He has deeply rooted this content, happy, trusting joy within them. its amazing to the fullness of it brimming out of their bodies and into those around them. its contagious….then, i hold a picture of my own life in one hand, and a picture of theirs in another hand. under the worlds scrutiny my life own is more appealing . if i were to put those lives (based on worldly possessions) on a scale, mine would far outweigh the other. why then, do i not have a joy such as theirs? i wish, oh how i wish! to be infiltrated with what they have. not in material things, but in the contentment of Christ, the happiness, the trust, the JOY. they have found the key,completed with trusting in their faithful Daddy. i have so much, but so often i forget what i have. when i look through the eyes of Jesus, their life is fuller than my own. because of the riches that they have found, not in possessions, but in Christ. they have sought something deeper, something of value, something worth giving everything to find. i want that. i want that childlike, heart piercing joy. Jesus even says in matthew 18:3 “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” this goes to show that even though we may have every”thing” that the world could desire, there is something far better. He is Jesus, Satisfier . i want to go through my days being delighted and overjoyed that He is my Daddy. He is worth having loosing it all for. one of my favorite parables is the one about the man who sold everything to find a great pearl…that pearl being the Father. matthew 13… 45 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. 46 When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!” Christ is worth everything. He is the answer to our worries, to our troubles, to our joy. we could own everything, yet have nothing if we do not have Him. Jesus, make us as little children, not ashamed, and not afraid to take you by the hand and trust you with our lives. You are, indeed, worth it all…instill within us your satisfying joy…
from philippians 3 -
7But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him…