the character of God never ceases to astound me. i stumble and trip and mess up in such ignorant ways. with my head hanging low and my feet scraping the ground, i let the gravitational forces of this earth sink me into the dirt. it seems that is where i should be, right along with the earth worms that are hidden from sight. i dwell in the miseries of the mistake imparted by my own hands into my life. in truth, it is rather agonizing to sit and dwell on these faults. i can remember the times when i was a kid (not that i am claiming to be an adult just yet), my disobedience would be recognized by my father. my heart literally felt like it was falling all the way to the end of my self, touching the bottoms of my feet, hitting with a hollow thud and splashing on the floor. huge, heavy tears would take up residence upon my cheeks as my dad told me to go wait in my room for him to come and punish me. sitting, waiting. it was the worst thing possible. thinking on what i had done to deserve the due punishment. and he’d let me wait. the wait and pondering was worse than the deemed punishment. a hatred of the that fowl, self inflicted blunder would coil its fingers around me, squeezing and squeezing guilt into heart. after my father had imparted the well deserved discipline, he would lift me onto his lap, warn me of the consequences of mistaking again, hug me, and tell me that he loved me just as much now as he did before i had made my error. i can remember thinking to myself, “he shouldn’t love me, just look at what i’ve done!” do you know many of us feel the same way about our Father in heaven? yes. well i do anyway. i stumble and fumble, my heart drops, i gain a small bit of courage to look to heaven, expecting to see disappointment on His face…but then i remember that i am His kid and His love for me is far greater than i could ever imagine. His love is perfect in all ways. and He forgives, He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. merciful and gracious. and He gives it to me. He upholds all who are falling, He teaches us His ways. and so instead of seeing hatred aimed towards me, He teaches me to repent and leave my mistakes…my mind spins at this astounding Father that i serve.
psalm 103 -
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
also, thanks dad and mom, for teaching me of the grace and mercy of our Perfect God so early in my years…